Sometimes, praying helps, when no one is by to see you facing your demons. If you believe in GOD or a higher power, talk to them through your prayers.
One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Across the sky flashed scenes from my life.
For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand, one belonging to me and one to my Lord.
When the last scene of my life flashed before me, I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
I noticed that many times along the path of my life there was only one set of footprints.
This really troubled me, so I asked the Lord about it:
"Lord, You said You would walk with me always. But I noticed that during the most troublesome times of my life there is only one set of footprints. Why, when I needed You most, would You leave me?"
The Lord replied, "My precious child, I love you and I will never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."
~ Mary Stevenson
The poem was originally written by Mary Stevenson in 1936 when she was 14 years old, though the earliest surviving copy is dated 1939. Over the years, it has been reproduced in many forms, including posters, bookmarks, and cards, and has inspired songs and adaptations
I want men to know that the path is just as strenuous and know we are here. I hope our site gives comfort and reassurance that many of us have been in similar shoes at one time or another.
When the Going Gets Tough, Keep Moving Forward ~
"The hardest part isn't always finding the courage to leave. Sometimes it's finding the courage to keep going after you've already left."
There comes a moment in many survivor's journeys when the adrenaline wears off.
The crisis has passed.
The bags have been unpacked.
The paperwork has begun.
The temporary safety has become a new reality.
And suddenly, the weight of starting over settles onto your shoulders.
No one prepares you for that part.
Movies often end when the survivor walks away. Friends celebrate your bravery. People tell you how strong you are. They believe the hardest part is over.
But those who have lived it know something different.
Sometimes the hardest part begins after you leave.
Imagine waking up in a place that doesn't yet feel like home.
Boxes are stacked against the walls.
Money is tight.
Sleep comes in short, restless pieces.
Simple decisions feel overwhelming because your mind has been living in survival mode for so long.
You wonder how you'll pay the next bill.
How you'll rebuild your confidence.
How you'll explain everything to your children.
How you'll ever trust yourself again.
Every step forward feels painfully slow.
Then comes another battle that few people see.
The temptation to go back.
Not because the abuse wasn't real.
Not because the pain didn't matter.
But because familiarity can feel safer than uncertainty.
Our minds often confuse what is familiar with what is safe.
Even unhealthy environments become predictable.
You know the routines.
You know the reactions.
You know what tomorrow will probably look like.
Starting over offers no such certainty.
It asks you to walk through unfamiliar territory while carrying wounds no one else can see.
There may be moments when you find yourself remembering only the good days.
The apology.
The laughter.
The promises.
The person they occasionally became.
Trauma has a way of softening painful memories while amplifying the comfort we desperately wanted to believe was real.
When life becomes difficult, it is easy to question your decision.
"Maybe I overreacted."
"Maybe things weren't that bad."
"Maybe I can't do this on my own."
Those thoughts do not mean you made the wrong choice.
They mean you are human.
Healing is rarely a straight path.
It is often two steps forward, one step back.
Some mornings you will wake up feeling hopeful.
Other mornings, simply getting out of bed will feel like climbing a mountain.
Both days are part of the journey.
Consider a woman named Sarah.
After years of emotional abuse, she finally found the courage to leave.
The first week felt empowering.
The second week felt terrifying.
She cried while trying to buy groceries because every dollar mattered.
She sat alone in an unfamiliar apartment wondering if she had destroyed her children's future instead of saving it.
One evening, after another rejection from a job application, her phone lit up.
It was a message from the person she had escaped.
"I've changed."
"Come home."
"We can fix this."
For several minutes, she simply stared at the screen.
Home.
It sounded comforting.
It sounded familiar.
It sounded easier than carrying the crushing weight of rebuilding.
Then she remembered something.
She wasn't missing home.
She was missing the hope that home could have been.
Those are not the same thing.
She put the phone down.
She cried.
She questioned herself.
But she didn't go back.
The next morning, nothing had magically improved.
The bills were still there.
The apartment was still quiet.
The uncertainty remained.
But something else had changed.
She had proven to herself that she could survive one more difficult day.
That became two days.
Then a week.
Then a month.
Eventually, the life that once felt impossible slowly began to feel familiar.
The fear didn't disappear overnight.
Her confidence wasn't instantly restored.
Healing wasn't perfect.
But it was real.
That is often how resilience grows.
Not through dramatic moments.
Through ordinary decisions made again and again.
Choosing not to answer the phone.
Choosing to attend counseling.
Choosing to ask for help.
Choosing to keep applying for jobs.
Choosing to rest instead of giving up.
Choosing to believe that today's pain is not the final chapter.
If you're reading this while standing in the middle of your own difficult season, know this:
You do not have to see the entire road.
You only need enough strength for the next step.
Some days that step may be making a phone call.
Other days it may simply be getting out of bed.
Both are victories.
Progress is not measured by speed.
It is measured by direction.
Keep moving toward safety.
Keep moving toward healing.
Keep moving toward hope.
There will be days when you feel exhausted.
Days when you wonder if rebuilding is worth it.
Days when the voice telling you to go back seems louder than the voice calling you forward.
When those days come, remember why you left.
Remember the peace you were searching for.
Remember the future you wanted for yourself and for those you love.
Most importantly, remember this:
The life you are building may not look beautiful yet because you are still laying the foundation.
Foundations are rarely impressive.
They are messy.
They take time.
They require patience.
But without them, nothing lasting can be built.
So, if today feels impossibly hard...
Keep going.
If tomorrow feels uncertain...
Keep going.
If you are exhausted from carrying more than anyone should have to carry...
Rest if you need to.
Ask for help if you can.
Cry when you must.
But don't mistake exhaustion for failure.
You have already survived things that once seemed impossible.
This chapter is no different.
One day, you'll look back and realize that the days you wanted to quit were the very days that shaped the strength you now carry.
The road ahead may still be long, but every step you take is a declaration that your past will not determine your future.
At Mandie Safe Haven, we believe healing doesn't happen because life suddenly becomes easy. Healing happens because courageous people choose, one day at a time, to keep moving forward.
And if that's all you can do today...
That is enough.
Prayers,
Curtis
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